The Patbot
by the blue afro
Summary: Patrick choke when he eats his cell phone, then SpongeBob is worried that his friend will never be the same when the doctors turn him into a robot. this is my first story, and it's a funny stupid kind of story


_Hmm… What is this buldgie thing sitcking out of my throat fat?, _thinks Patrick.

_Hey! I'm thinking! My phsyciatrist said that that was good for my brain! Phsyciatrist is a big word, I'm going to say it five times before I forget it…phsyci…umm…It's the Krusty Krabb!!!_

"SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SSSSPPPPOOOONNNGGGEEEBBBOOOBBB!" yells Patrick.

"Yes?" calls SpongeBob in a very sophisticated voice.

"Watcha doin buddy? _Cough cough_" Patrick asks.

"Cookin patties other buddy." SpongeBob says with a giggle.

"Okay."

"Uhhuh."

Silence. _Cough cough_.

"So what outrageously stupid thing are we going to do today to make a hilarious show, err… story?" Asks Patrick coughing more.

"uhh… we've gone to the moon, created an _invention_, played the halftime show at the _Super Bowl _and… " States SpongeBob.

"_COUGH COUGH_!" Coughs Patrick.

"Are you okay?" asks SpongeBob.

"Yeah." Replies Patrick.

"Have you heard that the New Moon movie comes out in like ten months!!"

"Oh my goodness, OMG OMG OMG OMG! No way No way!" Yells out Patrick.

"Uhhuh gurfriend, oh, that sounded so wrong, how 'bout we forget about this and never speak of it again." SpongeBob says.

"_Cough Cough_, that is so cool_, Cough Cough_! It's like I'm so excited that I Can't Breathe! Oxygen! I NEED oxygen! Can't breathe!" rasps Patrick.

"We need to make a song out of that buddy: _duh dun dun dou I'm so excited! I can't breathe! I Can't Breathe! Can't B-R-E-A-T-H-E! Oxygen oxygen! That's what I need baybay!_-Guitar solo!!!!!" sings SpongeBob.

Patrick falls to the ground and SpongeBob pulls out his handy dandy notebook, Err… I mean his cell phone and calls 911. He panics and yells out for help asking if anyone knows the number for 911. Someone calls him a dork and tells him "911." Then, in his panic he dials the wrong number and ends up explaining to an old granny why he called her. He finally calls the right number and is on the phone with the 911 operator.

"Hello, this is your local 911 service department, how can I help you?"

"Ahhh! Arg! Ahh! Ahh!" SpongeBob tried.

"Sir, I need you to talk alittle clearer."

"Aghghg! I think my friend just died!" sobs SpongeBob.

"Sir, you need to check his heart beat, is he breathing?"

"Umm…yeah."

"How quickly can you get him to the hospital?... I'll send an ambulance right away."

"You're so sweet."

"Sir, It's illegal to hit on me, if you continue to do so, I will have to hunt you down and kill you." She replied.

"…You scare me."

"Good."

"Five hours later." Said the goober with the monotone voice.

When Patrick woke up he was on a metal cot, surrounded with important looking doohickeys.

"Hey, what does this do?" Patrick wondered aloud.

He touched a huge machine that was shiny and had many buttons.

"Whoa! Look at all these buttons! Which one should I try first? Eeny meeny miney mo, this one!" he says.

He touched a big 'on' button and coffee shot out of the spout.

"Yummy! I've wanted some grape juice, huh? This isn't grape juice, this is _coffee. _I've always wanted some of this."

He downed the coffee with a twitch, then burped and made more.

"Patrick? You in here?" called SpongeBob.

"SpongeBob? SpongeBob!" twitch twitch

" Hey buddy, are you okay; you choked on your cell phone this morning at the Krusty Krabb. We rushed you into the hospital, and you've been asleep ever since." He told Patrick.

Twitch twitch. The caffeine of the coffee had just kicked in.

" That's that's that's where-where where where my-my my-my phone went went we-nt nt nt."

"Patrick!?! What have they done to you?" Asked a horrified sponge.

Twitch twitch.

"Patrick! They have turned you into a…_robot._ Run, run while you still can! I won't let them do this to you! Go! Save yourself! I will hold them off while you escape! Don't worry about me buddy, I know ka-ra-te. You will have to leave town where the _doctors_ won't be able to find you." Says SpongeBob.

"Thirty seconds later" says the goober.

"Summon your inner powers. Unleash the fury of one-thousand lamas" SpongeBob says to himself while walking to the doctor.

SpongeBob gets to Patrick's doctor, grabs him by the neck, and tries to lift him up with a failed attempt. He lets go and pulls up a chair to stand on where he can look him strait in the eye.

"What did you do to the _star_" asks SpongeBob in a _James Bond _voice.

"Mr. Star had eaten a cell phone, so we made a small incision in the thorax area, removed the phone, and stitched him up." Said the doctor.

"Don't lie to me! You robotitized him! I see through your filthy lies."

"I don't know what you're talking about, sir."

"You turned my friend into a robot!"

"Sir, I think you need to go back into the waiting room and I will come get you when your friend is ready for visitors."

"One hour later" the guy said.

"I've got to get in there! I need to fake a sickness, get the doctors to take me back there, and run away and check on Patrick! But what sicknesses do I fake, think think BRAIN BLAST!" Said SpongeBob.

"Help! Help! Mr. Doctor sir! Help me!" yells out SpongeBob.

"Sir, what is it?" asks a doctor.

"Doc, I'm shrinking! Get me back there, money isn't an object; just help me brother."

" Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to be a little patient." Said the doctor chuckling as he walked away.

_Tartar sauce! I will have to do better than that if I want to save Patrick, Wait! What if Patrick escaped with his super robot strength? Maybe he is waiting back at home for me. I'll go see._

"Ahh. The pain to lift my head!" complains Patrick.

"What did the coffee do to me? Is this what a hangover feels like? I bet the coffee was spiked."

Patrick had used all his energy during his newly awaken power-by-coffee spree. He didn't know how long he had been asleep, and was wondering where SpongeBob was.

Knock knock knock.

"Who is it and what do you want?" asked the grumpy starfish.

"Patrick? Buddy? You in there?" asked SpongeBob.

"Yeah, come in."

"Patrick, are you okay?"

"yeah."

"I think we can still be friends even though you are a robot, we might not be able to relate to each other, but our friendship will survive. It must survive, it is the only thing that holds us together."

"yeah…what did you say about a robot?"

"Patrick, those _doctors_ back there turned you into a cyborg; half man half machine."

"Ahh, SpongeBob, I'm not a robot, I just drank too much coffee, I got so hyper that I couldn't think, control myself, or even talk. Caffeine is a crazy thing that hurts your head."

"Patrick, I forbid you to drink any more coffee, because coffee has caffeine, caffeine is a drug, drugs cause addictions, and addictions hurt."

"Where did you get that, Dr. Phil?" asks Patrick.

"What if I did?"

Patrick and SpongeBob walked away into the sunset talking about bacon wrapped shrimp.


End file.
